MY ADDICTION

THIS IS ONE OF MY BIGGEST ADDICTION. I have been trying to get over it but the more i try the more i see myself into it.

It is so hard to get my eyes and mind off it, I try all I know how to. Sometimes I wonder why I have to go through all these every now and then. I see the things you do everywhere I go, I feel them, I want them because they are enticing, mouth filling, eye catchy, body teasing and mind blowing. I fight with these thoughts all day long. It get worse each time I get out of my house, as I have to deal with all of these everywhere and when I’m alone, I wonder why I feel this way for them. My addiction makes me feel this way, the urge gets me wondering if I can live without it. It arouses every part of me. The way I feel about you makes me wonder if there is any possibility of surviving outside you. You are everywhere I go. You have taken over my mind, my thought and even the way I do things. You are the sweetest thing that has ever happened to me. You make me want to see another day. The feelings so tender and heartwarming, full of care and body wanting.

How else do I describe all your works and beauty, my Lord, Savior, King, Father and Friend. From behind, I try to imagine your front, how sweet, tender and portable it would be. The more I get closer, the more I want to see and feel you. From your side I wonder what artistic work was done on your by your hands and might. And when I’m in front of you....my addiction

MY ADDICTION to be continued...........

WHEN HE MET ME

It was all like a joke as I never wanted any man in my life and even if I do, not some one like him but the whole thing turned out differently, even much more than I ever thought.

I was on my own when he walked up to me and said, his dad is not a governor neither is he from a rich background but he'd love to help, he promise to give me money to sow seed in church (offering) every Sunday service. I looked at him with surprise because I never asked him anything and did not even know him or want anything from him.

He doesn't look like it, looking rough, not even my kind of man. He's dark, not tall. In fact he's just the opposite of all I want in a man.

I felt cold inside of me for the very first time but never understood what I have gotten myself into, so I said "huumm emm" well okay if its only what you've just said and not more than that. I realized what he meant weeks after.

As days went by the closeness grew. The more I tried to avoid him, the more I fall into him. I did all I could, instead I see myself running into him. So much happened then but he was always there even when I never knew or wanted him.

Every time I needed help, he was always there and the most surprising part of it all is that I never asked him for any help, never told him about any thing. How he gets to know even till this moment I still can't figure it. Its scares me every time I see him around me. He is just like an angel sent to me.

He shows up when I need him the most. I've never seen or been with a man like that, who knows and sees your pains and understands your cry even when you don't talk. Knows when to show up and that makes him appear to me like the perfect man.

I refuse to feel anything for him because I know all my walls and defences are broken even before he opens his mouth to ask which he never did because I never gave him the chance to. Always there with me and for me.

one day as he walked me home for church, I reminded him that he is doing too much and the he is just a friend. He got so upset with his response. I felt the pain in his tone. then I realized I have awaken something strong inside of him and now I can't control it, because I'm also awake and waiting for his first move.

Finally, it happened. I couldn't wait for him to finish what he was saying before I cut in but did not say yes because I became scared and worried about breaking the promises I made to myself and my commitment to other things. But he was just so persistent, bold, strong brave, intelligent, with lovely smile, above all, kind, caring, loving, patient and very understanding with lots of passion...…….

Woke up few days ago and realized that it is our 5 years anniversary……..to be continued

A BETTER ME

I'm trying my best,

but if I can do any better

then my best won't be lesser than the rest.

Increasing in knowledge, skills, idea and strength are the my visions.

Breaking boundaries, barriers, limitations and Scaling new height are the missions.

What is your excuse for failure when you had it all?

What is your excuse when you had the whole time to yourself.

Take away all your fears and doubt.

Believe and sit right, stand your ground,

fight for your right, follow the truth.

Thanks to Maxwel Ivey jr and Alex Okoroji for the creative motivations impacted in me